00:12
I hear the Holy Spirit say lay down on
00:14
the bed well we got furniture showroom
00:18
you know what's furnished sure we got a
00:19
bed and so I'm like okay so I test the
00:23
spirits and it's him and I'm like why do
00:26
you want me lay down and he says you
00:27
either lay down or I'm gonna knock you
00:29
know oh okay
00:32
so I lay down and it's him and I'm
00:35
praying I got my eyes closed and I hear
00:43
all these little voices some close up
00:46
some far away saying he's coming he's
00:49
coming he's coming and they're they're
00:54
hushed they're excited they're not
00:56
fearful but they're they're buzzing and
01:03
I'm like who's coming he's coming he's
01:06
coming
01:13
I understand how Paul says in the spirit
01:15
and the flesh I don't know because all
01:18
of a sudden I'm not on the bed I'm
01:22
somewhere solid absolutely real not
01:27
heaven on my knees face down
01:34
hands out in front of me kneeling balled
01:37
up as small as I can ball up and
01:42
everything is black and I got my eyes
01:45
pin shut way way off in the distance
01:53
there's a little perfect pure white
01:57
light let's get closer and it sees it
02:05
and however much I thought it was a good
02:07
idea before now really regretting that I
02:12
asked for it and I'm I'm I'm
02:19
completely aware of my blackness and his
02:25
whiteness of his holiness now I'm doing
02:31
pretty well with the Lord at that point
02:33
I'm repentant up I'm not in any willful
02:38
sin porn is way long time before you
02:43
know I'm not perfect but I'm on short
02:45
accounts with him and I think I'm pretty
02:47
clean doesn't matter doesn't matter I am
02:55
acutely aware there there's no there's
03:00
no sense of of of judgment like he's
03:05
gonna condemn me or he's gonna he's
03:08
gonna accuse me of stuff I didn't knew
03:09
or or I'm gonna go to hell
03:13
if he gets closer or he's not gonna like
03:15
me there's nothing like that my only
03:18
thought is I'm deathly afraid that some
03:24
part of my blackness might stick to his
03:26
whiteness into file he'll that's it
03:28
there's nothing else there's there's no
03:30
there's no awareness of what's right or
03:34
fair or just or anything
03:36
I am completely aware at that moment
03:39
that I deserve the worst and that he is
03:43
perfect and I don't want any of me I
03:47
don't want him to get any closer for
03:49
fear that I might taint his holiness and
03:55
that like keeps getting closer closer
03:58
and I'm seeing it at the top of my head
04:01
it's so bright and I got my head down my
04:06
heads down on the ground and I balled up
04:09
as tight as I can I'm like please go
04:11
away please I'm so sorry it was a bad
04:13
idea I should have never asked please
04:15
just go away just go away don't get any
04:17
closer
04:21
the light keeps getting brighter
04:22
brighter and brighter and I don't know
04:26
how long it took
04:41
I don't like tell her this story because
04:46
it's so holy and people mock it twist it
04:53
or something and I just fear for them
05:02
better not better not to have the
05:05
ammunition but the Lord says okay so he
05:10
gets closer and closer and closer and
05:12
closer and I can feel him standing I can
05:14
see his feet through my head right just
05:18
inches standing ahead of me and he's
05:21
standing up and I'm balled up and down
05:22
on the ground and I'm begging for him to
05:27
go away
05:31
and he says put your hands on my feet oh
05:35
no oh no sir no I'm not touching you I'm
05:38
scared to death to get anything of me on
05:40
you I don't want to do any such thing I
05:43
know please don't make me please don't
05:45
make me and he says do it in a real firm
05:56
like I'm not mad at you but you're gonna
05:59
do what I tell you to do I slide my
06:05
hands up and I can feel his feet my eyes
06:08
are shut as hard as I can shut him and I
06:12
could see his feet I can feel the hairs
06:16
on his feet
06:24
and all I can tell you is that he's more
06:26
real than you are this whole thing we
06:30
think is reality is a purple crayon on
06:34
the back of a bar napkin this is some
06:37
crusty old black-and-white CinemaScope
06:42
celluloid thing from I don't 1930s this
06:45
is this is nothing compared to what's
06:51
really real the colors and the smells
06:56
and the flavors in the and all of it
07:01
I've never done a drug in my life I've
07:05
never you pick and pick one it mushrooms
07:09
marijuana anything nothing nothing ever
07:12
I've never been drunk I've never been on
07:16
antidepressants or any psychotics or
07:18
anything except a hay fever medicine
07:23
this was not a product of my imagination
07:26
this was not a dream it was not a vision
07:28
I was wide awake and it was more real
07:31
than this is and I have my feet my hands
07:39
on his feet and I'm crying he says put
07:41
your thumbs in the hole and there's a
07:44
hole in his ankle and I don't want it I
07:47
don't want oh he says do it roll ahead
07:56
up I'm crying and I'm crying I feel the
07:58
whole is ankle
08:05
and he says stand up don't water it he's
08:20
being real patient he bends over grabs
08:23
me by the arm pit and stands me up and I
08:26
still got my head trying to suck my head
08:32
into my body like a turtle eyes closed
08:34
as tight as I possibly can and I'm still
08:36
seeing him out the top of my head he's
08:39
so bright wearing a white robe and he
08:47
takes my my hand and he sticks it in a
08:50
fold in the robe and puts it on the scar
08:55
at his side and I feel the skin and the
08:59
hair and the scar hole it cried to cry
09:04
to cry I had prayed for you for a lot a
09:15
lot at that point fasted without food
09:19
water a lot probably 200 days out of
09:22
that year before that to see through the
09:27
eyes of Jesus to have wisdom help bear
09:30
his burden to be used however he wanted
09:33
to give up whatever he asked of me for
09:37
wisdom I'm standing there crying he
09:44
holds his hands out hold my hands and I
09:47
don't want it
09:52
he grabs my hands puts my hands in his
09:55
and says feel the hole that I slide my
09:58
hand up his arm and feel the hole in his
10:00
wrist put my thumb in the hole and I'm
10:06
crying it cried it crying it all the
10:12
wild just just asking him to go and say
10:18
it I'm sorry forever asking and he takes
10:30
my hand and puts it on the side of his
10:32
face and I can feel beard hairs its skin
10:39
and everything more real than you are
10:50
and he's standing you know that far away
10:56
to where it's I'm not reaching way out
10:58
I've just I've got my hand against his
11:00
face and he says don't be afraid in a
11:09
way that lets you know that he's about
11:10
to do something that will terrify you
11:13
Edie and you will instantly be afraid
11:16
and you have every right to be afraid
11:18
that he's telling you not to because
11:20
whatever he's about to do is going to
11:23
make you afraid so it just makes me more
11:32
afraid but I want to be obedient so I'm
11:38
trying to just stand there wait and see
11:40
what he's gonna do and he takes a step
11:45
toward me okay now you know he's in my
11:51
buffer zone now you get a little close
11:55
he says don't be afraid which of course
11:58
makes me more afraid
12:03
or at least I think you know I should be
12:06
way way more afraid and he takes another
12:14
step toward me like he's gonna headbutt
12:16
me or kiss me straight on and says
12:21
they'll be afraid and I feel I hear my
12:28
heart racing pounding pounding pounding
12:31
pounding and he leads in and right when
12:39
I feel like he's gonna headbutt me his
12:41
head goes into my head
12:44
and I hear his heartbeat no problem mine
12:52
and he takes another step and steps in
12:58
and I'm standing there I hear the
13:02
heartbeats I hear my heart beats slow
13:04
down to his and I know everything and I
13:11
am in the mind of Christ and I see the
13:18
whole panorama of creation as if it's
13:23
all done and there's a new heaven and a
13:26
new earth the judgments are over
13:33
and it's perfect I can't tell you who
13:39
got it in heaven and who did I can't
13:42
tell you what the New Jerusalem looks
13:44
like I can't tell you anything except
13:46
all that I could contain at that moment
13:49
was an awareness it was all perfect that
13:57
all of creation for eternity would sit
14:02
with its mouth open marveling and how
14:07
God tied it all up with a bow and
14:11
everything was just there was nothing
14:15
left out there was an explanation for
14:18
everything
14:19
and it made perfect sense and it had to
14:21
be that way
14:22
and it was fair and it was right and it
14:24
was just and it was good every kid in
14:26
Africa that died of AIDS every every
14:29
person that was raped or molested or
14:32
hurt or whatever somehow beyond my
14:36
capacity to understand it was all part
14:40
of the plan it was all necessary and it
14:44
was all tied up with a bow and justice
14:46
was served on those who did wrong and
14:51
mercy on those who needed mercy it was
14:55
perfect perfect no no straight untied no
15:03
nothing left undone perfect and I
15:10
couldn't process anything but that and I
15:12
stood there I'm marveled and I cried I
15:13
saw God I had no idea everything is part
15:19
of the plan is perfect and I don't know
15:27
if it was five minutes or ten minutes or
15:30
half an hour
15:34
but I knew everything could couldn't
15:38
retain it couldn't process it good
15:40
whatever but I saw the end and it was
15:45
perfect perfectly just perfectly
15:51
righteous nobody could argue nobody
16:01
could say I was done wrong and justice
16:05
wasn't beated out or I shouldn't be here
16:11
in the lake of fire or anything even
16:17
people that were in heaven and didn't
16:19
think they deserved it the Lord had
16:21
shown they could everybody could see the
16:25
whole thing and everybody knew all of
16:31
creation knew and marveled and how good
16:38
the father is how perfect his plans how
16:44
much he knew the end from the beginning
16:46
how every butterfly every speck of dust
16:52
every little dog every
16:58
everything was part of the plan
17:10
and then I'm laying on the bed of the
17:11
furniture store with you know it's the
17:20
Holy Spirit will yield you would care
17:22
how long the snot string is all the way
17:24
to the ground and I just lay there for I
17:30
don't know how long another hour just
17:31
trying to recover from it all and limp
17:35
home and knowing that I'll never be the
17:42
same after that
17:51
some people to understand how I've
17:53
adored everything I have because it's
17:57
all part of the plan
17:58
how have you put up with some of the
18:00
people you have spoke with because it's
18:03
part of the plan how do you have the
18:09
faith month after month after month to
18:13
not know how the bills are gonna get
18:14
paid because gods on the throne and it's
18:17
all part of the plan
18:28
I don't know
18:31
I don't think I'm special like God did
18:36
that for me he doesn't do it for anybody
18:38
else I know lots of people we got
18:40
several here that Jesus showed up and
18:45
gave him a hug or something he's real
18:54
when somebody some atheist argues with
18:56
me their opinion that God's not real
19:01
I don't argue my opinion that got Israel
19:05
I met Jesus in person and he's more real
19:13
than you are he is exactly who he said
19:17
he was it is it will be and I don't
19:25
serve him for the hopes to go in heaven
19:27
I serve Him because he's a righteous God
19:31
that deserves to be served no matter
19:32
what happens to me I don't preach a lot
19:36
about heaven and hell because I think
19:38
it's humanism
19:39
I think it's hedonism to serve Him for a
19:42
reward or to serve Him to avoid
19:43
punishment I serve because he's worthy
19:47
to be served no matter what happens to
19:49
me
20:05
I pray the name of Jesus that everybody
20:10
that sees this video that somehow
20:12
someway he would show up in your life
20:16
and show you how real he is that he
20:20
would give you an understanding and
20:24
eyewitness testimony of how loving and
20:28
true and righteous and holy he is how
20:32
much he loves you what she died for you
20:37
took your sins to hell
20:39
punched your bus ticket
20:59
thanks for listening
21:05
it's just one of a lot of stories a lot
21:09
of stories I Hotel the heavens real
21:14
Jesus is real God is real time is
21:19
running out and you need to get real say
21:27
you're sorry
21:28
for your selfishness and hypocrisy and
21:33
fleshiness and chase of the things of
21:35
this world instead of obeying God
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